VAMPIRES: A HUMOR NEWS NUTS INVESTIGATION

by Tim Colin My brother Mike is currently working on another story about his relationships with his vampire girlfriends. It should come out by the end of April. Meanwhile, I have been asked by the owners of this web site to say that vampires are clearly one group that is discriminated against. Vampires are often discriminated against by landlords and employers. Many people feel that vampires are dangerous persons in the neighborhood, but there are no statistical analysis to back up such claims. According to all the medical journals "vampires are just people without a pulse and have an insatiable appetite for fresh human blood." I have grown up in Northern Michigan which is a region full of vampires, werewolves, witches, gnomes, elves, sorcerers, ghosts and alien space monsters. As a child growing up just outside of Traverse City Michigan, I became use to seeing various non-humans on a day to day basis. This year a local business group is paying me to be a spokesman

INTERVIEWS WITH VAMPIRES STEPHANIE By Mike Colin Associate Humor News Nuts Publications In honor of Halloween (All Hallows Eve) I have been assigned to search out local vampires and interview them for this blog. I have no other formal duties for this month. This assignment could literally bite. Luckily, I did not have to look far for my first interviewee (vampire victim). It seems my girlfriend Stephanie is a vampire. What luck for me, hey? I always thought she was just one of those Goth people. She dresses in black and wears black eye make-up and nail polish. Her arms each have a pair of fangs on them with drips of blood tattoos running down from the fangs. I thought she was kind of cool. I met Stephanie at a really exclusive club. I was living under a bridge at the time (living under bridges is called trolling in Northern Michigan). Since I was just a local troll, I was never allowed in the exclusive night club called “Jack’s Bloody Brew”. Jack’s is one of those